A few days back, me and my daughter both had an upset tummy. I just felt full as I had ate a lot of food the day before and my toddler didn't want to eat for God knows what reason which is very usual with her.
So, I thought to skip breakfast. My girl also did not eat her usual amount of food.
By noon also, my tummy wanted to continue the food strike but I '"wanted" to eat. My body did not need food yet I "craved" for food. Food was on the back of my mind all the time until i gave in and ate. I felt bloated and nauseated all day.
On the other hand, my daughter had only few morsels for lunch, nothing for snacks and a very light dinner. she was happy, active and chirpy... her usual self.
That day, I realized that I eat for so many other reasons than my hunger;
So, I thought to skip breakfast. My girl also did not eat her usual amount of food.
By noon also, my tummy wanted to continue the food strike but I '"wanted" to eat. My body did not need food yet I "craved" for food. Food was on the back of my mind all the time until i gave in and ate. I felt bloated and nauseated all day.
On the other hand, my daughter had only few morsels for lunch, nothing for snacks and a very light dinner. she was happy, active and chirpy... her usual self.
That day, I realized that I eat for so many other reasons than my hunger;
- I eat when I am sad.
- I eat extra when there is some favorite.
- I eat when I can't sleep at night.
- I keep on munching when I am not actively doing something.
- I eat as I want to FINISH food so that no leftover goes into the fridge.
I eat for so many wrong reasons. For me, food has become a way to reflect my emotions. Whereas, my daughter eats to satiate her hunger.
So, all those parents justifying 'Distraction Feeding' and all those grandparents saying "Force Feeding" did no wrong to their children and they turned out well.
No, We did not turn out well. I, definitely, didn't turn out well.
I am 31 years old and my toddler understands her hunger cues better than me. I know other kids in the family who were distraction-fed or force-fed and they were good for few years. Ate to their parent's heart content, were chubby and everything. But, few years down the line, they started rejecting food altogether. Now, even maggi doesn't come to rescue. The food and feeder are enemy while the dining table is a declared war-zone.
On another note, my husband was also force-fed but his food habits seem fine. Unlike me, he knows when to stop and when to even skip meals.
So yes, not every kid, who is force-fed or distraction-fed, ends up rejecting food or having a compulsive eating disorder.
But can I risk my daughter's eating habits just in the hopes of her turning out okay like her father???
No, she may end up like me and its too big a risk which I would rather avoid than take.
At the end, no one can take a better decision for a child than his/her own parents. But weigh the choices you have because;
Yes, they will start eating on their own some day, no kid keeps getting fed my their caregiver. But your attitude towards food today, will decide their relationship with their plate for their whole life.
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