A mum's letters

Another new year is just another day.... Another day of you sleeping to the glory in the morning when I can't sleep And me watching and soaking in all your beauty and innocence. Another day of you achieving your toddler monster mission of taking this house down, And me slogging behind with my lazy mommy mind and tired mommy feet. Another day of you spitting that morsel loaded with ghee and made with all I knew, And me gobbling all the remaining food up ignoring my bulging tummy. Another day of you running around to fight my attempts to put some oil in your head, And me worrying that I didn't have the good hair genes to pass on to you. Another day of you looking at me with those petrified eyes when I try to bathe you, And me wondering if I am being hard on you if I wash that dirt ridden face of yours Another day of you sucking, biting and dangling from these mounds of flesh nurturing you, And me chalking out a strategy to wean you and failing at it every singl...

Dear baby, Today, I had a little argument with your mausi. She was asking me to buy you new clothes for Diwali. I was saying that we still have 4-5 new dresses and those are perfect for Diwali. She was not convinced. Then your nani also lectured me some for not buying new clothes for Diwali. I tried to tell them that in past people did not have the luxury of buying new clothes every other month, infact, going to the markets was a luxury in itself. So they used to wait for festivals to go to the market and splurge on shopping. The rarity of this was a charm in itself to mark the beginning of the festivities. But.. today, we go outside every other day. Malls are a place to hang out and if you see something CUTE for the kids, the temptation is too hard to resist. Even if you don't go outside then online shopping is there. Hardly goes a month or two when I am not buying some dress or some toys as you are outgrowing your stuff so quickly. Then why all this halla gulla about Diwali ...

You don't know her. You see her first and may be the last time, that too for a few seconds. And YOU JUDGE because she is wearing shorts. She is wearing shorts despite being so fat. Though you have no idea that obesity may also be due to some illness and you really don't care. You just DECIDED that she is not dressed appropriately. Then some other day, some other place you see someone else. She is wearing a polyester saree, her head is covered with her pallu, orange sindoor in her hair parting, bright red bangles and she is trying to get over her fear of escalators and may be of her newly worn high heels too. You turn again and again to look at her, to check what is she doing, to ridicule her silliness of being afraid of a mere escalator. You mutter something about that dehati lady to your friend and you two have a good laugh. Now... You are wearing your favorite denim pants with a tank top or may be a full sleeved shirt. You got some looks from someone else. You KNOW wha...

A few more days and the life will never remain same.. I shall be a mommy in a few days. And now a days I relate everything with children and their upbringing. #womeninme keeps making promises to the little fluttering creature in my tummy. So baby, here I am...I want to promise you that you will never be forced to do things as per others' or set society standards. You need not to learn cooking... You need not to study engineering... Just to satiate our desires but only if your heart asks you to do so.  If you are a boy, i shall not teach you that crying is a sign of weak (or girls). Because those who know, accept and express their feelings are stronger than those who pretend, manipulate or suppress their emotions. If you are a girl, I shall never let you ask for favours for being a girl but to treat yourself equal to your peers before you expect them to treat you equally.I f you are a boy, I shall never be ashamed of you for cooking or doing any of the household ...

As I am writing this, a little girl of 12 days is lying beside me. She is too tiny to hold properly yet she has turned my world upside down. I have forgotten what a peaceful sleep means and how would it feel like going outside on my own...alone. I just can't believe that I am feeling so. Having a baby was my long time dream. I have thought of names for my daughter when I myself was in school. After only an year of marriage, I have started pestering my husband to start a family (now I silently thank him for knowing that you are NEVER prepared for a tiny tot to join you) It's not that I was not aware of the changes that a baby will bring in our world but still I feel as if I have been cheated. I knew that a child would bring sleepless nights, I just did not have any idea about cluster feeding. I knew that a kid would depend on me for filling his tummy, I just did not know about sore nipples. I knew that I would be stucked in a room for 40 days of confinement period (a...

Dear HUSBAND, Life has changed and it has changed fast. I always had doubts how would you cope up when we will have a baby. How would you react when a tiny lil thing will share bed with us. I wondered if you would be jealous that someone has captured all my attention. I never worried about how i would adjust with all these changes as i always felt that motherhood comes naturally to me..as per me, i was born to be a mum. But it turns out that you are the one to whom parenthood comes naturally. I sometimes get irritated when she keeps me up whole night. In initial days, i looked at her and she looked back wide eyed, i felt for her yet a bond was missing. But such was never the case with you. You two hit the cord instantly right after you held her in your arms, i could sense the love in your eyes. I feel jealous that i didn't feel that way. You are the one whose voice she started to recognize first (as i believe) though i am the one who stayed awake all night to feed her, to cha...

Dear baby, Happy new year!!! Let's talk serious today. 25, 30 or may be 35 years down the line, there will come a time when you would start thinking to start your own little family. (We will be fine even if you not go to that path at all) but if you do, even the thought of having a kid will be stressful. The thought of having a tiny tot, who is totally dependent on you and knows nothing but breathing and feeding and crying, is scary. The dilemma of having or not having a kid would certainly arise. That day I want you to read this letter. (Hope we are on good terms till then :P) Though I have no idea about parenthood and I don't know if I would be the kind of mother to whom you will look towards for having an advice or not. But I want you (and everyone else too) to know how wonderful it feels to have someone growing inside you. My pregnancy has made me a more satisfied, happier, more kind, more loving, more appreciative and more positive. I've started smiling...

मेरी मुनिया रानी बने महलो का राजा मिले देखे खुशियो के मेले दर्द कोई न झेले लोरी लोरी लोरी लोरी लोरी लोरी Lullabies!!! They make you nostalgic. But today, after having a daughter, when I sing them; they make me angry. In every other lullaby, mothers are telling their daughters that a prince charming will come and take them away to live happily ever after. As if that is the only definition of being happy. Why don't we tell our daughters that they may or may not fall in love. They may or may not want to get married. They may or may not end up being a homemaker. They can take the decision of having or not having a baby. And ALL of this is fine. Our nanis told our mothers that the whole n sole purpose of their lives is getting married, bearing n rearing children, serving their in-laws AND always obeying them without questioning. Being opinionated was a strict no-no. But they did a favour to our mothers. They did not educate them. So our mothers accepted and adapted easily...